It has been crrraaaazzzzyyyy around here for the past 2 months. I have been having severe gastrointestinal issues and have had to stop my treatment until we did testing on my gut. Needless to say, I have taken several steps back in my health. Ah the two steps forward, two steps back Lyme dance! How I know this dance well. My boys and hubby are having worse symptoms, so we’re all basically falling apart. My husband’s and kids’ new Lyme doctor is still doing testing on them, but put them on a restrictive diet, which amped up the stress and craziness even more. On top of all this, we got colds. No biggy right? Well, when you’re already chronically ill, getting a ‘normal’ person cold is like being hit by a 10 ton truck. I’m mostly recovered from the cold, as are the boys, but now my poor husband is down for the count.

I had an upper Endoscopy and a Colonoscopy yesterday; that was so fun! *kidding*

We found a few things wrong, but nothing to explain the severe issues I’m having, so the doctor took a lot of biopsies and we’ll see if that gives us any more information. Now that it is over I am able to go back on my treatment again. Being off it for 2 months didn’t change my stomach at all, so until I see my Lyme doctor in a few weeks, I’m going back on all my meds/supplements so I can feel a bit better.

I haven’t been able to drive in quite some time, so I’m back to the only time I really get out of the house is for doctor appointments. Which has led to more depression…. and anger, and resentment…..

I actually removed my social media from my phone, because it was just upsetting me more seeing other people’s posts… people that used to be considered friends, but that haven’t responded to me, checked on me, or come to see me in over a year. I am an extrovert, and being isolated and losing friendships have been one of my major mental hurdles that I still deal with on a daily basis. For my husband, who is an introvert, it has been a bit easier, but he still mourns the loss of the few close friends we thought we had. He has some co-workers he enjoys, and still gets out of the house and is with people on a daily basis, so he gets what he calls ‘plenty’ of interaction. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but it’s nice to have other people to talk and visit with other than your kids, husband and parents all the time. I’m very blessed to have my family, but I am missing having a social life. I’m sure I’ll go back to social media, but right now I just needed to clear my head and figure out how to deal with these feelings.

Life and illness have just been so overwhelming, and I feel like we cannot catch a break to breathe for even a moment. So for now I’m trying to figure out how to deal with all this, and try to get my head in a better place so I can keep us all going.

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